Starlight and Bridges
by Alahnore
Summary: Before that mission, they spent their nights in their own ways. But there was still plenty of starlight left, at least, just enough for them to come to terms with what's become of them. \\ First Strike setting. Up to interpretation.


To say he felt like shit was an understatement, and understatements seem to be Flynn's way of life. Everything gets understated, and that's when accidents happen and regrets begin. Maybe he didn't have the best of time back at the capital, but nothing he suffered there could compare to what Yuri had gone through in his absence.

He lies silently, listening to Yuri breathe softly over at his side of the dorm. He had pretended to be asleep already when Yuri returned from his visit to Repede and his apparent walk to the town. Flynn had considered confronting him, asking why he'd taken so long, that didn't he realize they were going to do their stupid suicide mission in the morning? But he stayed still, quiet, and let Yuri crawl into bed. Flynn's silence kept them from another fight, he knew.

They had fought upon his return… as always. Ever since they met back up in the Academy, they had been fighting. Flynn stares at the dark wall, unsure of what exactly drives them to fight and argue. Different values, probably. Different views. Different ways to look at the same thing, different ways of thinking. And that what is different will clash with another. He remembers that lesson on war at the Academy.

_If we die, then who protects them?_

Yuri had walked out when Flynn gave his point. It was a valid point, and even as he lies here, Flynn still believes it. If they die… Zaphias wasn't sending reinforcements. So the town would be completely defenseless, the roads unsafe and trade would die. The people would begin to run out of food and money, and this whole town would become another Lower Quarter. Communities and love and charity only go so far…

_We promised… On that sword we bought together, we used together. We promised the same promise. So what happened?_

Flynn closes his eyes, curling up into a tighter ball and pulling the covers taunt. They grew up together; they were best friends at one point. Things were so much so much simpler then. He and Yuri were simpler. It was simpler to be friends.

So, where and why did it go sour?

Or was it really? Flynn can swear up and down Yuri was just some hooligan he grew up with, that he was unfit to be a knight… but he couldn't say he doesn't care. And he hopes, somewhere deep down, Yuri still feels the same. They promised. And maybe they grew up and they were different, but Flynn likes to think he's still working on that promise. Sure, it got a bit more… complex since his father passed. Since he joined the Knights himself… but he'd still say it was the same promise he shared. Would Yuri?

Would Yuri have gone through what he did if Flynn was here? What if one of the twins went in his stead? They were senior rank to his… why didn't Niren send one of them? If Flynn had stayed, maybe he could have helped Yuri. Maybe they'd stop fighting. Maybe… maybe…

Maybe was the understatement. Everything was _maybe_ with Flynn. _Maybe_ this, _if _that. That was probably why…

Flynn gets up, flinging the covers off and grabbing his boots. He almost doesn't care if he's loud enough to wake Yuri, but he's pretty sure he isn't. Yuri sleeps like a log. He gets his boots on, gets his shirt on properly but ignores the wrinkles for once, and he leaves the room.

Flynn doesn't know where he's going to go. It's far too late to seek counsel with anyone else. The twins were sleeping. Niren needed his rest. Garista… just made Flynn uncomfortable. But he knows he can't sleep right now, so Flynn walks. He gives himself to faith and fate and lets it all go for the moment.

The blond finds himself in the stable, standing outside Repede's lonely pile of hay. Laying under Yuri's uniform jacket was the puppy in question, shivering and whimpering, and Flynn can feel his heart sink. He was just a dog, but Repede was still a baby… and he lost his dad.

Just like Flynn had lost his.

Flynn stares at Repede, eyes slightly wide. From what he gathered from Yuri, Lambert and the other dogs chased the monsters despite their owners' protests and orders. Lambert disobeyed orders for reasons no one really was sure of. Just like Finath…

Repede cries and Flynn can feel his own eyes grow wet. Very slowly, so not to wake the puppy, Flynn goes to his knees and soon was curled up around Repede; yet despite his best to be quiet, the dog awakens. Repede glances up, and Flynn half-worries he'll be rejected because he wasn't Yuri. But a few seconds tick by and Repede's little tail starts to wag, and he shuffles on his belly to come closer to Flynn.

Flynn gets his arm around Repede, holding the puppy close. "I know." He whispers to him. Speaking above a whisper would make his emotional dam break, and Flynn has to be strong for Repede's sake. He was grown now, after all. "I know how you feel…"

Repede whines, wiggling in Flynn's hold so he can get a couple little sleepy licks to Flynn's chin. Flynn tucks his head lower, closer to Repede's, rubbing his cheek to the pup's snout. Repede licks him a couple more times, then settles in Flynn's hold as comfortably as he did Yuri's. There was a simple acceptance there that eases Flynn's heart a bit, and he shifts Yuri's jacket to better keep Repede warm.

He didn't mean to stay, but after that moment Flynn doesn't quite have the heart to leave the puppy alone. It was a comfort though, being near a kindred soul, and Flynn doesn't realize he begins to doze. It wasn't too long he was sure, as it was still dark when he feels the weight of a blanket on him. The blond wakes up with a slight start, but Repede remains asleep, and when Flynn looks up he sees the most indescribable expression on Yuri's face. There was a little bit of everything in those eyes, the way they stare at his own.

"Sorry," Yuri whispers. "I couldn't… you… I knew you… but I just…"

It was odd to hear Yuri so at lost for words, and for no real reason. What was he apologizing for?

"Didn't mean to take your spot," Flynn replies just as quietly, a bit groggily. Yuri looks to the slumbering puppy and manages the tiniest of smiles.

"No… it's fine. He needs more than just me." Yuri assures him, moving to sit more comfortably across from Flynn. "And from this… I think you're a pretty good second."

Flynn doesn't quite smile back, but in the dim light, Yuri can see his expression soften. "That'd… be ironic."

"How so?"

"Well… his father… and mine…" Flynn glances aside, but before Yuri could say more, the blond continues quietly, "And with how we are…"

Yuri's brow furrows a bit. "How… we are?"

Flynn lies back down, staring at Yuri's hip over Repede's fluffy head. "Always… fighting." He murmurs. "We stopped seeing eye to eye. We stopped believing the same things… at some point."

Yuri looks away, staring at the hay-covered ground near his feet. "Yeah… at some point," He agrees half-heartedly, but for once Flynn isn't offended. He probably was just as confused by it all as Flynn was.

"… We're going to be fighting for our lives tomorrow." Flynn says after a few silent moments. "And not all of us might make it back…"

"Don't start this again Flynn—"

But Flynn was starting something else, and he quickly finishes the thought, "If I don't…! If I'm the one who doesn't, Yuri. I don't hate you. I never hated you. Maybe it seemed like this… maybe I didn't give you the chance you deserved. Maybe I judged you too soon… but I never hated you. Maybe we're not the same friends we were before… but…"

Flynn isn't sure where he's going with this. Given the chance was startling enough—now he was taking it and fumbling it. He feels Yuri's eyes back on him but he can't look up to him, not yet. "But…" Flynn slowly goes on. "… I remember, we promised we'd make the Lower Quarter better. And I want you to know, even if we've been fighting so much, and I said insensitive things to you, and I hit you and just treated you like crap… I… I don't know why I did. But you're part of that promise. And I always kept it close. So, if I don't make…"

"Shut up." Yuri cut in tersely, making Flynn bite his tongue to keep from exploding. He was trying to be honest and…!

Yuri slowly lays down next to the pair, a bit away at first, but after a soft whine from the sleeping puppy he shifts closer. Flynn hesitates, and so does Yuri, but at the same time and very slowly they drape an arm around each other. When they were kids, and Yuri lived with them, they shared Flynn's room. Shared his thin bed and his little blanket. Keeping close kept them warm. Suddenly Flynn remembers all of their nights together like that, snickering to each other, thinking they fooled his parents into believing they were asleep. They'd talk all night, into morning even, and… and there was a comfort there. One Flynn lost long ago. One he missed, that he didn't realize he missed until now.

Looking at Yuri's face, he sees the same feelings there. Yuri remembers. Yuri missed it too, and Flynn has to close his eyes to try and keep the feelings under control. He lost his father, and not long after he lost his best friend in the worst way…

"You're going to make it." Yuri says softly, making Flynn open to look at him. "We're all going to."

"That's too optimistic, Yuri."

"It's better than giving up before we even march out," Yuri snaps back, but he calms after that, curling up a bit more to give Repede that proximity of extra comfort. "I'll make sure you do. That we all do. I'll… protect everyone."

Flynn frowns. "I don't need to be protected."

"Then help me protect them. You have to stick around for that."

Flynn is about to protest, but he can't force anything out at that. Wasn't that sort of part of their promise? Maybe… "All right. I'll help you. But you have to stick around to help me too."

Yuri grins. "Like some stupid monster can do me in." he says smugly.

Flynn rolls his eyes, but he can't resist smiling a bit too. He closes his eyes again, hoping Yuri won't mind if he kept this small comfort for a while longer yet.

Yuri doesn't say anything until Flynn ends up falling asleep, and once he does, Yuri sighs softly. "It's close to me too," he admits to the sleeping blond. "It'll always be close to me…"

And he knows, by extension, so would Flynn.


End file.
